First Time in Therapy: A Funny Story About Misunderstanding The Process

Therapy isn’t always what people expect. Many arrive with assumptions shaped by movies, myths, or anxiety about being analyzed or judged. This short story uses humour to explore common misunderstandings about therapy—what assessments mean, what they don’t, and how the first session is often more human, awkward, and grounding than people imagine.

Therapist (Greg): This is a Rorschach inkblot. Just tell me what you see.

Mark: That’s a butterfly.

Greg: Interesting. That suggests unresolved feelings about municipal zoning laws.

Mark: …Okay.

Greg: Next one.

Mark: Two people dancing. Or fighting. Hard to tell.

Greg: Yes. Classic sign of emotional fluency and a latent fear of escalators.

Mark: I don’t have a fear of escalators.

Greg: Not consciously.

Mark: Right.

Greg: How about this one?

Mark: That’s clearly a dog. Like, unmistakably a dog.

Greg: Mhm. Dogs often represent loyalty. Or soup. Depends on the lighting.

Mark: I feel like I’m doing well at this.

Greg: There is no “well,” Mark. Only participation.

Mark: That’s… comforting, I guess.

Greg: Next.

(He flips the card.)

Mark: …That’s a man at a beach. Wearing very little. Is that—are those your legs?

Greg: Ah. That’s not a test.

Mark: It’s a photo.

Greg: Yes. That appears to be from Cancun. That should not be in this stack.

Mark: You look… moisturized.

Greg: Let’s move on.

Greg: This one?

Mark: That’s a man screaming into the void.

Greg: Correct. That one’s just a man screaming into the void.

Mark: Finally. Something honest.

Greg: We like to keep one grounded in reality.

Mark: So what does all this mean?

Greg: It means you’re observant, skeptical, and deeply uncomfortable being evaluated.

Mark: That feels accurate.

Greg: Good. We’ll stop here before you start apologizing.

Mark: I was about to.

Greg: I know.

If this story resonates, therapy doesn’t require having the “right” answers or interpretations. It’s a space to be curious, uncomfortable, and human—without needing to perform. If you’re curious about what goes on in a therapy session, just ask :)